Penile Wars Episode I

I was reading the latest post in my most favoritest blog yesterday and for some reason (you'll probably understand more when you read said post) I got to thinking about junior high and pubic hair. I had a couple of friends at that time of my life that liked to count their pubic hair. What's worse is that I only know this because they also apparently enjoyed sharing this newfound information with others. I can't even begin to sort through all the ways in which this is just wrong, but I'll make an attempt to share some insight into the matter. It just strikes me that:

1. Who the hell actually thinks to count the number of pubic hairs they have?
2. How boring of a person do you have to be to be faced with the decision of counting your pubic hairs or doing absolutely ANYTHING else, and you chose to count pubes?
   
3. Why, oh why, would you then think it a good idea to share this information with others no matter how good of a friend they might be? How can you not understand the simple concept that should you have to actually count them, you probably don't have very many and therefore should keep that little secret to yourself. Young men are a strange bunch.
   

You would think that being a man and having grown up with best friends that were all guys for the most part that I would understand the male psyche, but I have to be honest and say I'm lost.
On that note, let's leave behind genital hair and move on to penis size. I also never understood the uncontrollable desire by many to engage in the Penis Wars Saga. For god's sake, why do you think I care how big your schlong is? But time and time again growing up, I had to listen to the ridiculousness that is "mine is bigger than yours" or "mine is so big that xyz." Whenever two of the male species were at a stand off, this was always the triumphant wild card. My response: And? In fact, it is no secret that often these Penile Warriors are considerably inadequate, actually packing a peanut and not a pole. I think I must have missed some secret gym class in 7th greade where all young men were instructed that the greatest boon in life is to have the largest penis ever and, therefore, at all times we should be on the look out for opportunities to announce our manhood. It was probably right after my gym class on firearm and hunting saftey (yes, I that is actually true- I did, in fact, have a class on firearm saftey, in which we were given a catolog filled with rifles from Remington that we could dream of owning someday).

thought of the day: "From where you're sitting you're a man. From where I'm sitting you're an ape."- Mickey

Penile Wars Young Men

Google: Blowing Away the Competition

What competition, really?

Google Reader Beta is fantastic. They get it. . . integration, simplicity, efficiency. Google's news reader is not any more functional than, say, Bloglines (which I've been using for a year and like a lot), but I have to say what sold me immediately was the Gmail integration. *sidenote: I have a ridiculous amount of gmail invitations. If you want one, please email me.* I exported my subscriptions from Bloglines and started using Google Reader within 5 minutes. Sorry Bloglines.

It's a simple feature that makes my life easier, and let's face it that's really what all this tech crap is suppose to do anyway, right? Being slightly renegade by nature, I normally try to steer clear of huge conglomerates that gobble up everyone. But, hey, if your product is better, I'm going to use it. I suppose with billions to funnel toward research, it's easy to squash your competition. However, it seems to me that Google still gets it. They haven't got lost yet in their own ego. . . yet. They still create products with the end-user in mind. Which, will win me over every time.

Now all they need to do is call me personally and tell me all the secrets of their algorithms so I can make billions and they'll have me as a loyal customer. Hell, for that, I'd be a Google Groupie- soon to be known as a Grougle.

thought of the day: "yeah, it's pretty hard to beat the king." mickey